In the autumn, with leaves burning, safety
as children running
embers floating in the air.
And I am burning leaves again.
The tulips i pulled from your garden
how you say me hiding,
behind our pine.
Eyes wide.
Knowing that you were one person.
And about to become another.
How. You. Yelled.
And how it tore into me,
a torpedo, dropped bomb,
burrowing.
When I got into trouble again
I went into a house.
The neighbor with the old fan.
Brass cage.
Thick, cracked rubber blades.
Heavy.
Fissured dark,
Rocking back and forth on their axis
in the wind
in the window,
Back and forth.
Wishing they would rock into life,
That your will would gain power.
Still wishing.
It’s a false false,
after the fan
and the pine trees.
The hips thrusting.
Now they’re just hanging there,
fan blades,
setting sun in a window frame.
The house is set back,
in the pines.
Feels sad…
Just seeing this. Yeah. Time does that, I suppose.
I suppose…but not always.
It’s a dificult memory for me, one that I can only look at from angles, obliquely. Using a mirrored shield. Nevery full on.
Definitely sad, then. Pain can be a powerful motivator.
It’s a teacher, for sure.
I guess it is.
Well. Perhaps a gym teacher. PE, blowing a whistle “drop and give me 20!” kind of thing. Makes you stronger as it ridicules your utter lack of coordination.
Ha, yes that’s more like it. Nobody likes pe teachers.
They do tend to be right bastards…
Never had a good one.
I don’t think you’re alone in that.
Ha, definitely not. Beasts, the lot of them.
and those bloody whistles they always wear…
Didn’t mind those. Meant it was over.
Hah – for us, they used them to indicate when it was time to do a diferent exercise… TWEET! TWEET! run! TWEET! jumping jacks! TWEET! sit ups!
God, makes me feel sick just thinking about that. I haven’t exercised since 1999.
I started again, finally. Lifting weights does wonders for tension I’m finding. It was that, or keep drinking too much. Thought I’d try and give that a bit of a rest…
I had a baby 10 months ago but hadn’t drank for a year or so before that. Odd glass of red but that’s it now. I’m getting old.
The human condition… and, ‘grats on the baby 🙂
Many thanks. He’s ace.
I’m sure he is 🙂 Trying to walk yet?
He wants to walk but can’t quite muster the strength yet. He’s a little whirlwind.
Hah – that’s fun. Keep him away from walking as long as possible… once they master that it gets wilder…
Ain’t that the truth.
Little demons…
Nah. Just perfect.
Fair
Always fair, my dear. Definitely sometimes.